There is a thought in my head, Buried deep within. Tidal waves and lightening type fear, A deeply rooted sin. I’ve wished to share it for weeks, It eats away my soul. The reality won’t come to me Therefore, I can’t let go. I’ve tried to think about it nightly, For however brief. The only time it comes to me: During nightmares as I sleep. The words are stuck in my throat, The picture buried away. All of this is the reason I suddenly Felt so down today. I’m depressed, we know, no surprise, But this is something else. I’ve clawed at my mouth for opportunities to speak, And kept it to myself. It’s making me physically sick, I’m losing sight of my past. All of these things I’ve felt today I feel as if they’ll last. But, I will keep on moving, And continuing to smile. I cannot cry if I wanted to, I haven’t in such a while. This is nothing personal. Nor, is this something new. It’s just a list of reasons why I just can’t talk to you.
I probably shouldn’t of told you,
How much I’ve thought about you,
For however brief for the last two years.
I probably should’ve kept things,
Nuetral and friendly as they’ve been.
I probably shouldn’t have let
My confidence get the best of me
Summoning strength, forgetting rejective possibilities.
I probably shouldn’t have gotten so close,
So things wouldn’t be so off tune.
At least I didn’t tell you my heart stops beating
When you enter
And resumes when you exit my room.
I didn’t tell you, you make me stutter,
And I never feel as if I made a good joke.
Or,
The first time you spoke to me,
If I wasn’t in so much pain,
I would’ve choked.
I left out the part that you make me real,
Break down my wall, I’m 15 again around you.
Didn’t tell you, I meant for you to fall for me.
Truthfully knowing, I’d never astound you.
kk bye.
I needed to go to sleep.
But I was too busy falling in love with you
To remember.
everytime i smile i feel tears in my eyes.
